Lessons People Learn from a Hurricane

 

 Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.

 No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without
 electricity.

 Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their
 hand.

 Cats are even more irritating without power.

 He who has the biggest generator wins.

 Women can actually survive without doing their hair--you just wish they
 weren't around you.

 A new method of non-lethal torture:  showers without hot water.

 There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.

 TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.  One day at a
 time, brother.

 There are a lot of trees around here.

 Flood plan drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.

 Contrary to most Florida roads and natives' beliefs, speed limit on roads
 without traffic lights does not increase.

 Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.

 "Just because you're 35 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as you want."
 At least that's what the cops told me during a curfew stop.

 Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.

 People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea
 what the line is for.

 When required, a Lincoln Continental will float--doesn't steer well, but
 floats just the same.

 Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.

 Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.

 Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery
 remains charged.

 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and
 they are quick to point that out!

 Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.

 If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and generators, I'd be rich.

 The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane.

 Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.

 Tree service companies are under appreciated.

 I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout.

 MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher
 electric bill?

 Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's worthless.

 I can walk a lot farther than I thought.