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How
many Christians does it take to change a light
bulb?
Charismatic
: Only 1
Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal
: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against
the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians
: None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman
Catholic
: None
Candles only.
Baptists
: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees
to approve the change and decide who brings
the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians:
3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks
and one to talk about how much better the old one
was.
Mormons
: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell
him how to do it.
Unitarians
: ??
We choose not to make a statement either in favor
of or against the need for a light bulb. However,
if in your own journey you have found that light
bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a
poem or compose a modern dance about your light
bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will
explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way,
long-life and tinted, all of which are equally
valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists
: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely
out, you are loved.
You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting
service and a covered dish to the pitch-in.
Nazarene
: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
the church lighting policy.
Lutherans:
None
Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish
:
What's a light bulb?
